Return to Table of Contents

Review of Mastering Your Fears: How to Triumph Over Your Worries and Get On With Your Life

By Linda Sapadin, Ph.D.

Learning to cope with adversity in order to expand options and opportunities, while maintaining joy and excitement in life, is the message of Mastering Your Fears: How to Triumph Over Your Worries and Get On With Your Life. Dr. Linda Sapadin authored an effective step-by-step program that delivers what its title promises.

Five fear styles are discussed and many examples and vignettes are given throughout the book, along with quizzes to assess one’s style of dealing with fear. These are not offered as a diagnosis, but rather as self-evaluation to determine which of the five fear styles are prominent in a person’s repertoire of behavior. The styles are not mutually exclusive, but may be seen as a recipe of various amounts resulting in a pattern of living. The five fear styles are:

1. Shyness - describes individuals who feel uncomfortable and unsafe with other people.
2. Hypervigilance - describes individuals who are agitated, overly responsive, on edge, and often worried about many things in their lives.
3. Compliance - describes individuals who are dependent, hesitant, easily intimidated and tend to become devastated if someone disapproves of them.
4. Machismo - describes individuals who are rigid and combative on the surface, but apprehensive on the inside. These individuals will attempt to intimidate and only show fear if someone stands up to them.
5. The Controller - describes individuals who are compulsive, compelled, critical, and driven with a need to maintain a strict sense of order.

Dr. Sapadin also discusses the factors contributing to creating a fearful personality. The most powerful contributor is a previous trauma or history of traumatic life experiences and losses damaging the perception of the world as a safe place.

Temperament and genetics are another major contributing factor and one of the most powerful determinants of personality. This can be seen at an early age, as some babies appear nervous and hyperalert while others are calm and serene.

Extremes in parental styles are another contributing factor and can range from over to underprotectiveness. Overprotective parents may create a false sense of security, depriving children of experiences to develop their own judgments and learning to handle difficult situations. Children who have lost their parents at a young age and assume adult responsibilities may experience being under protected. These children, who grew up without adequate role models, may tend to feel insecure and mistrust their ability to cope. They may worry that they aren’t doing a good enough job and develop what is sometimes called the “impostor syndrome”.

Parental expectations, whether they are too high or too low, can also significantly influence the development of a fearful lifestyle. Expectations that are too high can lead to perfectionism and a fear of failure. Too low or too few expectations can result in children being confused about what is expected.

Parental responses to world events are also a factor influencing the development of a fearful response style. According to Dr. Sapadin, children need to know that their parents can cope, as it indicates that everything will be all right. Children will learn from these behaviors and more likely be able to cope as adults.

Another important element impacting on a fearful lifestyle is the understanding of the process of change. Change is described as inevitable and not always difficult or troublesome. Change can result in a more pleasant and comfortable lifestyle. Fear of change is usually a fear of the unknown and easier to cope with in stages.

Dr. Sapadin outlines a program for change focusing on improving one’s thinking skills as thinking processes have a great impact on reactions to life events. She suggests a variety of strategies including:

• learning to think about and evaluate situations without becoming obsessed
• minimizing ruminating and overanalyzing which can lead to a paralysis of action
• practicing brainstorming and risk-taking
• reframing the situation
• accepting that the outcome will not always be in your favor, as one cannot always control the outcome
• cultivating a relaxed mind focusing on the positive aspects of the situation

Linda Sapadin also analyzes and gives recommendations as to changing one’s attitudes in order to change one’s life. She gives a host of examples and descriptions, such as limiting exposure to the media, which is often quite negative; conducting a risk analysis of situations; learning to reframe difficult tasks; developing resilience and hardiness; cultivating reassuring thoughts; using reassuring and inspiring language and not falling into “I can’t” as a self-fulfilling prophecy; avoiding self blame and maintaining perspective.

Mastering Your Fears is a practical self-help book, devoid of jargon, which translates cognitive behavioral strategies into easy to understand concepts for the public combining them with insightful illustrations. The book may also serve as a helpful adjunct to therapy. Information about the book is available on Dr. Sapadin’s website at www.drsapadin.com.

Reviewer Elizabeth Carll, PhD, is the past president of the Media Division of the American Psychological Association and in private practice in Long Island, NY, ecarll@optonline.net.

Return to Top