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The Mentor's Corner

Miguel E. Gallardo, Psy.D. and Michael J. Murphy, Ph.D. are members of Division 42’s governance who are active on the MENTORS Listserv. The Mentors’ Corner is a regularly featured column in the Independent Practitioner (IP) that highlights discussions from the MENTORS listserv. In each issue of the IP, questions and answers pertinent to the Division 42 Student/Early Career Psychologist members will be addressed. If you are currently not signed on to the listserv, we encourage all members to participate and share in the stimulating discussions that take place. The Division consists of members who have a wealth of knowledge and various areas of expertise that should be shared with our new colleagues.

It is important to note that the opinions expressed on the listserv and within this column reflect individual perspectives and ideas only. As noted on the listserv, there are more than one means to an end. This column is intended to highlight important topics and to generate additional areas of thought and insight for our members. - MG

Alta Paneras asks:

I was hoping to get some advise about boundaries and self-disclosure with my clients. Over the past 3 months I have lost about 25 pounds. This seems to have made an impression on a number of my clients who have complimented the change in my appearance. I feel awkward about this and try to accept comments as a compliment by saying thank you and moving on. Some though proceed to ask how I did it, etc.

This is a particularly loaded question for those dealing with weight loss issues and eating disorders. I do not think that it is useful for them to know what strategy I am using as much as it would be for them to develop their own, which is what I usually focus on. Sometimes though eating habits and weight loss are not the main issues we are dealing with at the time and I feel we might get side tracked. I am interested in knowing if any of you have been faced with such or similar circumstances and how you have handled them.

I intend to loose at least 25 more pounds so this issue might become an issue for my clients in the future as well.

Christine Szostak responded:

This is coming more from class than from my own experience. One thing that has always been suggested to me when they “say oh how did you do it”, say, something along the lines of, “well you know I think the more important thing here is finding what is right for you. Everyone’s body is different and I think we need to focus on you so we can give you the most optimal use of your time here”. Ok, so maybe not the best wording, and I think you sound as though you are already on the right track.

Steve Walfish contributed:

I would suggest that you tell them that you and your physician got together and developed a plan for you that has worked rather well. However, you’d rather not share what that was since each person responds differently to all weight loss strategies. Because of that I’d encourage you to sit down and talk with your physician and see what would work best for you. Tell them there is always a danger that a client will want to do the same weight loss program as their therapist because of the special relationship they have together (I once knew a psychiatrist who went out and bought a Cadillac identical to that of one owned by his psychoanalyst!) and therefore you think it best that they consult with their physician.

Christine Szostak added:

I have a question on the same topic as Alta’s post. I have one of those clients who loves to ask personal questions. For example, when she came for her in-take, she asked questions about the process, my degree, etc. It was almost like going back through my grad interview :) . Anyway, she is working on relationship issues. She has asked a lot of personal questions about me. For example, are you married, have you had successful relationships, how long, how many, etc. Thus far, I have been able to basically bring the discussion back to her, but I feel like the more that is done the more I may have a chance of losing her as she may feel like she is being ignored or deflected. My question is how to best deal with the patient’s questions.

Patrick Savage observed:

Tough questions for which I’m not sure there is a “right” answer. I’ve read the other posts and have a somewhat different take on this question. I think the guiding principle is...does sharing personal information help the client! Given this principle, my answer to the question would vary a great deal depending upon the particular client, their issues, level of independence/dependence, strength of ego, level of self confidence, length and quality of the therapeutic relationship, transference issues, diagnosis of the client, etc. After considering whether self-disclosure would be helpful to the particular client in addressing an issue in their life, then I believe it is equally important to assess your own level of comfort in revealing personal information. It is important to be aware of meta-messages we send clients in the process of communicating with them.

Let me be clear as I address this issue there are many areas of my personal life that are completely unavailable to clients while others I am comfortable in sharing only if I am convinced the client will handle the information respectfully and it is useful to them in developing an option that will work for them! I also think you have to explore and assess the client’s intention i.e. is this just curiosity or are they looking for information that is helpful to them in making a good decision in their own life etc.

Exploration of the reason and potential use of the information the client requested is always critical before disclosure. If I am comfortable and if I have enough evidence that the information provided will be of use to the client, I will share things such as how I lost weight or tell a therapeutic story that provides information to a client who is actively seeking a solution to their problem but might need information to help them solve a personal dilemma. This information is often accompanied by solutions others have arrived at, obviously without identifying who they are, as an educational tool. This information is always accompanied by cautions about blindly using any of the information without considering one’s own situation, dynamics, relationships, etc. One also has to be careful that you don’t use this disclosure to unintentionally send a judgmental message or that the values that guided your decision are the right ones for the client.

I believe that self disclosure when used properly can be a powerful tool, amongst the others we posses, to deepen therapeutic relationships, help clients feel safer about their own weaknesses or challenges, and move them towards obtaining their goals. However, it is a tool that I try to use my experience and judgment to use appropriately and in the right moments. One has to be careful not to blur boundaries or create the impression with a client that they are “special” in this particular regard.

Steve Walfish commented:

I think you try and process what self-disclosure means for them but the bottom line is that if they want to be certain their therapist have a certain background or experiences, you let them go find such a therapist. While there may be personality or dynamic issues underlying such a desire on the part of the client, it is my belief that they are purchasing a health care service and if they prefer a certain type of health care provider that they should be entitled to look for one. Indeed, while it might be a stretch to think this way, perhaps we ought to even facilitate that with a referral to someone who might fit those needs. This certainly comes to mind when I meet clients who want a faith-based therapist and while I support an individual’s spiritual development, I cannot provide such a service.

Alta Paneras concluded:

I am very grateful for the amount of discussion my posting has generated. Although it might seem to be a simple issue, it can be seen from many different perspectives. I am particularly sensitive in my handling this issue because I would not wish to reinforce cultural stereotypes about women’s appearance (e.g. less weight is always better.

Along these lines, Steve’s suggestion about consulting a physician would not really feel right to me since I approach issues of weight and food intake more holistically. I feel diets are a large contributor to the presence of so many weight and eating disorders rather than the solution. So theoretically I am against weight loss if it is not the result of a change of lifestyle and I am reluctant to provide any advise that would be implying that I am in favor of diets. Also, I realize a change in lifestyle might not be appropriate at this time and point for everyone and I would hate to have my own agenda about what they should be doing.

I appreciate Pat’s response, which also illustrates the many different aspects that must be considered related to self-disclosure. I would be very willing and very excited to tell everyone I come across exactly what my diet consists of, the benefits in addition to weight loss I feel and how this is the way to do it!!! I think I should stop myself from following this impulse regardless of how strong it is, it really does come down to trying to sell my values to someone else. Indeed maybe the most appropriate is to provide possible alternatives which others have found useful as an educational approach as Pat suggests, this way the client has the information for him/herself without the specifics which concern me.

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