A con-artist has an anti-social personality disorder. Many con-artists hold powerful positions in industry and government. Con artists are frequently depicted on nightly TV crime dramas, movies and novels. There is no available accurate information as to the percentage of our national population with this disorder. Immoral and unethical behaviors are not often reported and may not always constitute a crime. The anti-social personality usually presents a charming, engaging facade and is always on the ready to exploit others. Usually they prey on the vulnerable. Since most people are decent and have a conscience, they tend to judge others by using themselves as a gauge. Therefore, they are slow to pick up the clues. Such is the following case:

Bob and Jill

Jill, a pert, vivacious, single, thirty-year old woman had her eye on Bob as he stepped out of a shining black Porsche in the parking lot near her apartment. She liked the cut of his expensive dark suit, his good looks and the way he carried himself. The heavy leather briefcase in his hand suggested that he was probably a successful lawyer. On Sunday, she saw him again. This time he was relaxing near the swimming pool at the apartment complex. She glanced up from the pool at his fingers, looking for a wedding ring, but he wasn't wearing one. Jill made her move. She pulled herself out of the pool near where he sat, and she smiled. "Hey neighbor, I'm Jill. I haven't seen you around. Are you new, here?"

Bob was taken aback by Jill's friendliness and her beauty - like a ray of sunshine on a gray day. She was the first person to show any personal interest in him since he had arrived from across the country. "I'm Bob. Just moved in last week," he replied. He was exhausted from relocating and having worked hard at his new job all week, but he perked up around her. He couldn't take his eyes off Jill's shimmering wet, tanned and toned body. "Do you like living here?"

She dried her sun-streaked blonde hair with a beach towel then wrapped the towel around her body. "Yeah, sure. Anyone sitting here?" she said, pointing to the chair next to him.

"Be my guest," Bob said.

Smitten with vivacious, attractive Jill, Bob was vulnerable. A newcomer, he was lonely, and in need of companionship and romance. Very quickly, the couple became involved in a passionate love affair. Bob hoped their relationship would lead to marriage. He felt ready. Within a month, Jill revealed she had lost her job and was in arrears on her rent. She told him she had no place to go. Without hesitation, Bob paid her back rent and invited her to move in with him. The role of hero was one Bob enjoyed, and he was enamored with Jill. When Jill asked him for a loan to pay off her creditors, he rushed to her rescue.

He ordered a credit card in both their names and tried to teach her to budget, but Jill engaged in reckless spending, threatening his credit and made no attempt to find work.

Bob realized his relationship with Jill would jeopardize his professional and financial future, but he still had feelings for her and wasn't ready to turn her out. His dilemma caused him to experience depression and anxiety. Finally he sought psychotherapy.

After a few weeks, Bob reported that several small antiques were missing from his collection and Jill was his only suspect. Unable to trust and respect her, he decided to terminate the affair. Good natured Bob rented an apartment for Jill several miles away. For a month, she stalked him. Bob was about to apply for a restraining order, when he learned Jill had moved, and had not provided a forwarding address. He figured she had probably found another vulnerable man to exploit.

In therapy, Bob quickly learned that his relationship with Jill was based on his vulnerability and loneliness as a newcomer, and Jill's exploitative nature. She had all the earmarks of an anti-social personality - a con artist. She took advantage of a single, lonely, good-natured and highly paid professional man ready and willing to come to her rescue.

Bob also learned that he could gratify his need to help others by volunteering in the community. Civic involvement restored his self-esteem and brought new friendships - friendships with people more like him.

Return to Top