Netiquette
Valerie L. Shebroe
When communication via computer is good, it’s really good, and when it’s not, it’s horrid! Electronic communication is a relatively new phenomenon and many people haven’t caught up with the “do’s and don’ts” of Internet communication. An Internet web search reveals that there are many articles regarding “Netiquette,” describing Internet etiquette guidelines in great detail for a variety of communication venues.
Problems arise with computer communication, whether by personal or group e-mail list, because of the very nature of the medium of computers and the Internet. The speed of transmission of e-mail and the tendency to be trigger happy with the send button can be an inherent liability of this medium.
The relative anonymity of e-mail can also be an invitation to communicate in a way that one might not consider in face-to-face communication. Since typically all that appears on e-mail screens are words devoid of tone, inflection, intention of humor, sarcasm or other nuances, e-mail communications are a perfect “opportunity” for projection and miscommunication. Emoticons, those funny little symbol combinations [like a smiley face :) or frown :( ] may mitigate some of the misunderstanding regarding the writer’s intention, but even these symbols can be problematic.
Psychologists are not immune to the difficulties associated with communication via computer. Although we’re in the business of communication, clear expression, conflict resolution and problem solving, regardless of our theoretical orientations and underlying beliefs about the origins of interpersonal problems, we’re all human and prone to misunderstanding, miscommunication and misinterpretation.
The following are five tips for computer communication:
- Err on the side of politeness. State your opinion and support your argument or disagreement. Try to see the other person’s point of view, even if you don’t agree. “Netiquette Guidelines” suggests: “A good rule of thumb: Be conservative in what you send and liberal in what you receive.”
- Don’t name call. In Netiquette lingo, this is called “flaming.” Writing for example, “If you think X, then you’re a Y (fill in your favorite expletive here)” is an example of flaming. These kinds of statements do nothing to add to a spirit of discourse or dialogue. The recommendation for flaming, according to “Master the Basics: Netiquette” is to think about not responding to a flame, in essence, avoiding adding fuel to the fire.
- Don’t “Spew and Send!” If you have an extremely strong reaction to a communication and you know it, consider writing out your response but don’t press the send button prematurely. Potential cues for a strong reaction may be sweating, cursing, heart pounding, or furious keyboarding. Consider delaying, revising or not sending a response.
- When communicating on a group e-mail list, think about whether a message should be sent back channel (responding to an individual sender, rather than the whole group). If only you and one other individual are participating in an exchange on a topic, this may be an indicator that it’s time to go back channel.
- Politeness and common Internet guidelines for e-mail communication indicate that back channel communications should not be distributed to others. Evidently, many don’t follow this guideline, so don’t assume a back channel communication is confidential. Additionally, accidents in forwarding also do happen. If you write something, assume an unintended party may read it. “Netiquette Guidelines” sums it up succinctly, “Never put in a mail message anything you would not put on a postcard.”
References
1. Master The Basics: Netiquette. http://www.learnthenet.com/english/html/09netiqt.htm
2. Netiquette Guidelines. http://www.dtcc.edu/cs/rfc1855.html
3. Netiquette. http://www.albion.com/netiquette/
Valerie L. Shebroe, Ph.D., vshebroe@acd.net has been a psychologist in independent practice for 14 years in East Lansing, Michigan. Dr. Shebroe is credited with first suggesting a set of topic headings for use on the Div 42 e-mail list, which members voluntarily adopted and continue to use.
