I’m feeling much better, said the red-haired man Known as 27164.
I think the doctor was smart to add Some Paxil to my Pamelor.
I’m glad, said the counselor, scribbling away,
With his colorful Zoloft pen. He looked up from behind his clipboard
With its logo for Wellbutrin.
We need to look at your TP today
And update your ROI’s.
He pointed to Volume Six (of six), Which had grown to impressive size.
He unclipped five blue pages, then
He spread them in a fan,
All neatly typed and personalized:
An individualized Treatment Plan.
You were diagnosed on your IPA,
Per the DSM-IV-R
You’ve been coded 296.3 As reviewed on your TPR.
We’ll see you in three months or so To evaluate your meds
And prn to talk
About whatever’s in your head.
No crying spells, good sleep at night,
You’re active through the day,
Just sign here on the dotted line
So your Medicaid will pay.
With your POI and POR
We have your bonafides,
We’ve confirmed part D, and a PDP
(But no HMO besides.)
No reason then, for IDP
Or PAP assistance.
The mailed-out meds through SPS
Are the path of least resistance.
Your PCP can use them too,
For your GERD meds;
Your HTN and DM drugs
They’re paid for by the Feds.
You’re not on any APM’s
So your LDL’s look good.
No meds IM, no SGA’s--
AOT won’t need your blood.
Your MD changed your SSRI
TID seemed much too taxing.
Now it’s one QD, with a PRN
To take if you need relaxing.
Your SMI seems well-controlled,
No need for PHP . . .
You look confused--am I going too fast?
It’s as simple as ABC.

The client sighed and bowed his head
It’s the numbers, codes and jargon.
I’m not sure what you’re telling me . . .
But I’d like to make a bargain.
If you’ll do me a favor, please,
Let’s talk like regular folk.
The letters make me anxious, like
This session’s just a joke.
I know that you use acronyms
To summarize things better,
But just for once, could we maybe try
To talk in words, not letters?
The therapist gave his professional look
That said he understood.
He nodded and made contact with
His eyes, the way you should.
He empathized before he spoke
Then cleared his throat, to say,
With professional sincerity,
Gee, I see. Are you okay?

By a Therapist at Western Mental Health Center, Birmingham Alabama
(who requests anonymity)