Christmas

Date

Dear Medical/Health Reporter:

Don’t be surprised if you are feeling differently about the holidays this year. You are not alone. “The focus of the holidays will be changed,” says psychologist Dorothy Cantor. The climate and the mood of the country are restrained. Holiday parties are smaller and more subdued. Even Hollywood stars are dressing down. People are spending less this season. Time with family and friends is especially important this year.

The holidays are generally stressful under any circumstances. A recent poll found 41% of respondents find Christmas and Hanukkah stressful, rating them right up there with asking the boss for a raise! So what can we do to enjoy this holiday season in spite of recent events?

Dr. Cantor suggests that the net effect of September 11 may be that we each put less emphasis on the glitzy material things and put more emphasis on the reasons we celebrate the holidays in the first place. Demonstrate the spirit of the season. Consider giving more of your time to your family during the holidays. Try to give your children some gifts that are nonmaterial, and encourage them to do the same. Discuss with them why your family is approaching the holidays differently this year. They will enjoy being part of this process. Gifts of time together, perhaps spent in a service to your community, help with chores, or a promise to show more patience may not seem as gratifying to children as Nutcracker Barbie or the Harry Potter Hogwarts Castle, but they plant the seeds of alternative ways to give and receive.

As a service to your community, the Psychologists in Independent Practice, a Division of the American Psychological Association, would like to offer a psychologist in your area to speak with you on the subject of helping to make holiday celebrations reflect the mood of so many Americans and thus meet deeply felt emotional needs at this time. He/She would be able to discuss giving gifts that last. Your readers can call toll-free 1 (877) 603-4000 for a free copy of “Tips for the Holidays: Ways to Give to Your Children.”

APA’s Psychologists in Independent Practice represents independent psychologists, each of whom is a doctoral level professional licensed by his or her particular state. When you need to talk to someone who can help, you need an experienced, licensed psychologist. I look forward to speaking with you.

Sincerely,

Tips for the Holidays

Ways to Give to Your Children

Give Time, Not Toys

Give your children some gifts that are not material gifts and encourage them to do the same. Gifts of time together or help with chores may not seem as tangibly gratifying to children as a new CD or the hot new toy, but they plant the seeds of alternative ways to give and receive.

Give Back

Create family traditions that involve giving back to the community. Shop for extra groceries to give to a food bank, volunteer at a shelter, or donate toys. In these ways children learn to help others.

A Gift that Lasts a Lifetime

Our early holiday experiences shape our lifetime expectations of these special occasions. When your children are very young, begin to emphasize the religious, cultural, or altruistic traditions of Christmas or Hanukah.

The Joy of Gift Giving.

Help your children see that one of the greatest joys of gift giving is to give the other person something they will really value. Discuss what grandma and grandpa like to do and their favorite things. Then make or buy a gift to please them. Tell children the important thing is the gift is coming from them, not how much it costs. Consider giving grandparents a coupon for helping around the house or raking the leaves.

Give of Yourself.

Put the newspaper down and turn off the television when your children have something to say to you. Show them you respect them and they will learn to respect themselves, as well as others.

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