Dear Medical/Health Reporter:

Few things are as exciting as becoming a new grandparent, but it may also raise questions about how involved to be. How to help without intruding? In today’s high-pressure world, grandparents are more important than ever, both to grandchildren and to parents. Support can be the ingredient that tips the balance in favor of health and wellbeing for the whole family.

As the bundle of joy grows up, how to be a gracious grandparent? How to deal with cultural and value differences? How to cope when a child is diagnosed with a disability? How to discipline grandchildren to obey your rules? What to do when your children divorce?

September 12 is National Grandparents Day and as a service to your community, the American Psychological Association’s Division of Independent Practice would like to offer a psychologist in your area to speak with you on this topic. He/She would be able to discuss adapting to differences in attitudes, cultures, values and behaviors; how to set limits and discipline grandchildren; and how to cope when parents divorce.

Your readers can call toll-free 1-877-603-4000 for a list of tips for grandparents as well as for the name of a licensed psychologist in their area. Here are just a few:

• Address the needs of the parents so they can address the needs of their child. Take your cues from the parent and respect that the parent is in charge. While you certainly can share your wisdom and experience, remember that your son or daughter will need to find his/her own way, just as you did when you were a new parent.
• Stay open to new learning. Research is constantly expanding the base of knowledge about what is most effective. For example, recent research pokes holes in the old myth that you'll spoil babies if you pick them up when they cry. And, despite the longstanding popularity of spanking, research shows that other types of guidance and discipline are far more effective.
• Stay curious and join your kids in learning all that you can. Keep things light, recalling your own mistakes and vulnerabilities. There is probably nothing more reassuring to new parents than to hear about the missteps others made and survived.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Sincerely,