Peer Pressure

Date

Dear Medical/Health Reporter:

Autumn is a time of change. It is the time when kids go back to school to learn, experiment with relationships, develop autonomy, and continue to mold their identity. This is an exciting process, but not always easy. Most adolescents navigate this period successfully; others have difficulty adjusting to a new and changing environment.

Most adolescents spend much of their day away from home at school, social events, or at their friends’ homes. A major source of a teen's security is found in the approval of their peers. Peer acceptance and influence is a very strong motivating force. Parents need to know with whom their child is associating because negative peer influence can have a direct affect on academic performance, career choices, as well as an adolescent’s well being and ability to deal with everyday stress.

How can parents help? While parents can't easily control with whom their child chooses to be friends, they can make their concerns clear and lay down specific ground rules.

Families are generally successful at helping their children develop and reduce their dependence on parents, while becoming increasingly responsible and independent. However, heed warning signs that things are not going well and that the family may want to seek outside help. These include aggressive behavior or violence by the teen, drug or alcohol abuse, promiscuity, school truancy, brushes with the law or runaway behavior. And, while parents often feel frustrated and angry with their teenagers, if the frustration and anger begin to feel out of control, that is another warning sign that the family may want to seek outside help.

As a service to your community, the Psychologists in Independent Practice, a Division of the American Psychological Association (APA), would like to offer a psychologist in your area to speak with you on this topic. He/She would be able to offer suggestions to facilitate positive growth and change among adolescents. Your readers can call toll-free 1 (877) 603-4000 for a free copy of “Negative Peer Pressure Warning Signs and Tips for Parents.”

APA’s Psychologists in Independent Practice represents independent psychologists, each of whom is a doctoral level professional licensed by his or her particular state. When you need to talk to someone who can help, you need an experienced, licensed psychologist.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Sincerely,
Kelly Cunningham
(703) 548-1291

Negative Peer Pressure: How Can Parents Help?

1. Create and maintain a strong bond with your child. The strength of a child's relationship with their family will have a direct impact on whether peer pressure will be a productive or destructive influence in a child’s life.
2. Instill a strong sense of conscience with ethical and moral values in your child.
3. Build your child’s self-esteem throughout their life with lots of praise and love. Kids with a good self-image tend to seek out similar socially acceptable groups. Children who grow up with low self-confidence stand a greater chance of becoming involved with an anti-social peer group. These adolescents think of themselves as losers and find acceptance in groups where other teens also feel negative about themselves.
4. Develop your child’s decision-making skills by permitting them to make increasingly complex decisions and to learn from the real world consequences of those decisions. Children who make judgments for themselves are less likely to let others decide for them. Do not be afraid to discipline your child. Setting limits tells the child that you care enough about them to say no. In later years, it will help your children to say no to a peer who wants them to do something they know is wrong.
5. Teach your child to be assertive. Encourage them to stand up for their beliefs even when their ideas may be different from yours. Train your child to make logical and independent decisions.
6. Communicate with your children. Positive discussions with adolescents have a strong impact. They send an important message that you care enough to listen to your child’s ideas and feelings. Be respectful of one another and try to listen without judging. Avoid talking down to your teenager. They want to be treated as a grown-up so talk to them as you would another adult.
7. Take an interest in your child's activities and friends. Attend their school functions, cheer at their athletic events, plan family outings and make their friends welcome in your home. Guide your children toward positive relationships outside the immediate family--even if it takes a little bit of effort to see your adolescent gets to a soccer practice, a Girl Scout meeting, or a birthday party.
8. Set a good example. Adolescents often learn more from what they see than what they hear. A discussion about the dangers of smoking or drinking will have little impact if you smoke or drink excessively