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The House on Beartown Road: A Memoir of Learning and Forgetting
By Elizabeth Cohen. New York: Random House, 2003, 270 pages, $23.95
Due to new advances in the fields of health and medicine, more and more Americans are able to live longer. Though this represents a seemingly positive progression, it often presents many complicated issues for elderly individuals as well as their families. Many middle-aged Americans suddenly find themselves a part of the “sandwich generation” – attempting to assume primary responsibility for their growing children and for their aging parents. In her book, The House on Beartown Road: A Memoir of Learning and Forgetting, Elizabeth Cohen reveals the heart-breaking struggles, the everyday triumphs, and the unexpected revelations that inevitably accompany the process of raising one’s child and one’s parent simultaneously.
Cohen’s personal story is poignant, yet bitterly honest. Cohen’s story begins blissfully, with her loving husband, Shane, and their newborn baby girl, Ava. Not long after this new addition to their household, Elizabeth and Shane receive news that Elizabeth’s father will be joining them as well. Her father, who is developing Alzheimer’s, has become too much of a burden to his own wife, who is struggling with major health problems.
Elizabeth soon discovers that the addition of her father into her household is a far more complicated component than she had expected. She and Shane had anticipated a relatively smooth transition, in which they pictured keeping her father’s favorite brand of mustard on hand as their greatest task. Elizabeth explains that they were hopeful, and even excited, about the upcoming situation. Yet, upon her father’s arrival, Elizabeth realized that her father’s condition was much more severe than she had anticipated. As she encounters the stress associated with her father’s condition, so does her husband. Blaming this stress, along with Elizabeth’s anger, Shane announces that he can no longer endure the situation. Elizabeth soon finds herself alone, having sole responsibility for her daughter and her father.
Everyday, Elizabeth realizes that Ava is learning more and more things each minute, while her father is forgetting more and more things at a seemingly equal pace. Ava learns words for objects and names for people, while Elizabeth’s father forgets the name of his own daughter, as well as his relationship to her. He often states that he is unaware of who Elizabeth is, as well as the reason for which Elizabeth is being so nice to him. He refers to Ava as a boy, though he is reminded everyday that she in fact a girl. In response to her father’s apparent confusion, Elizabeth repeatedly attempts to aid him in retrieving memories and holding new information. Yet, she only succeeds in exhausting herself.
The struggles that Elizabeth faces encompass many emotional, physical, and psychological aspects. She holds nothing back from the reader, as she describes many disturbing features of her father’s battle with Alzheimer’s. She often finds herself washing her father’s sheets, as he has either forgotten, or has been unable to make it to the bathroom. She unexpectedly finds herself reminding her father that she is his daughter, as he demonstrates a romantic interest in her. This romantic interest obviously presents an extremely disturbing issue that Elizabeth is forced to psychologically and emotionally process. She must come to the realization that her father has forgotten their relationship to each other, and all of the seemingly salient memories which Elizabeth holds at her core. She must also realize that the father that she has known for forty years is no longer present, but is seemingly a completely different person – a person whom she does not know, and a person who does not seem to even know himself.
Cohen’s personal account of living in the “sandwich generation” presents a story of life, learning, and forgetting to which many individuals can relate. It is written in simple prose, and provides a realistic view into the life of a family. It presents a reading level which is appropriate for most adults, as it strays from any use of professional jargon. It is certainly useful for bibliotherapy, as many caregivers can relate to Cohen’s stress and struggles in accepting her father’s present life and her own present life. It provides an opportunity for others to recognize that they are not alone in dealing with the array of problems presented by Alzheimer’s disease. Individual clients might find that they are experiencing very similar, if not the same, challenges and struggles that Cohen faces everyday.
Readers can also share in Cohen’s joys – in her feelings of happiness and contentment as she observes that the love between her father and her daughter grows each day. Watching her father and Ava dancing in front of the television, or catching the two of them flinging scrambled eggs in the kitchen brings some sort of peace that serves to balance out the insurmountable stressors which Cohen combats everyday.
However, as noted earlier, Cohen holds nothing back as she describes her everyday experiences. At times, her life seems gloomy and her tasks seem unbearable. It seems as if she feels so alone, and is desperate for someone to help her. Though this presents a potential caution for use in bibliotherapy, it also presents a potential strength. Cohen is truthful in portraying her overwhelming responsibilities, and this truthfulness provides an opportunity for many readers to identify with her struggles. It also provides an opportunity for others to realize that they, along with Cohen, are not alone in their everyday struggles with Alzheimer’s disease. As Cohen demonstrates, there are several complicated and seemingly unendurable tasks that many patients and their families must face.
Cohen’s personal narrative certainly provides some insight and guidance. However, Cohen’s perspective is limited, as she lacks a professional background in psychology. Therefore, it is recommended that Cohen’s book be used in conjunction with a more structured guide on coping with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Psychologists might wish to prescribe one chapter of The House on Beartown Road along with one chapter of a more structured guide. In assigning a chapter from each, the client will be given the opportunity to relate to Cohen’s experiences, and the opportunity to learn more effective ways for dealing with the current and future stressors associated with Alzheimer’s. Psychologists and clients could then discuss the similarities and differences associated with Cohen’s situation, as well as the adaptive ways in which to cope with Alzheimer’s-related situations.
The House on Beartown Road is recommended for those who are family members or caregivers of an Alzheimer’s or dementia patient. The use of bibliotherapy presents clients with an opportunity to gain insight and knowledge outside of therapy sessions. Consequently, bibliotherapy is especially useful for this population, as many individuals are confined to their households due to their caregiving situations. These clients might often experience stress or depression related to the caregiving situation. Therapy sessions combined with bibliotherapy could provide an opportunity to reduce symptoms of stress and depression related to this situation. In utilizing this book, along with a more structured guide, a client could gain insight from a story of personal experience, and from the guidance of a professional.
Elizabeth Cohen’s poignant and honest narrative allows readers to enter into the life of a single mother who seeks to raise and protect both her daughter and father. Though many individuals might not experience Cohen’s exact situation, there are certainly several aspects of Cohen’s circumstances that provide points for comparison. Readers are provided with an opportunity to compare their own personal family struggles to those of Cohen, who openly describes her experiences. Such an account can certainly provide a positive experience for many patients. However, caution should be used in recommending this book, as Cohen makes no attempt to sugar-coat the harsh realities of living with Alzheimer’s.