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Coping With Loss
By Susan Nolen-Hoeksema and Judith Larson, New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1999, 201 pages, $29.95 (hardback).
Coping With Loss, by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema and Judith Larson, addresses numerous ways that people cope with the death of a loved one. This book is based on the Bereavement Coping Project, a long-term research study of several hundred people who lost a significant other. The authors integrate research, personal accounts of loss and helpful tactics for surviving the grief process into a masterpiece of literature. Their clear succinct style would be easily readable for bereaved adults. This book would be an asset for practitioners who work with bereaved adults and would serve well as a valuable bibliotherapy tool.
Coping With Loss begins with a concise definition of grief and a clear discussion on the different theories of bereavement. Each chapter closes with a section entitled “Voices.” Through personal accounts of those who have experienced the loss of a significant other, the reader gains a sense of the universality and yet unique expression of grief.
Coping With Loss explores the challenges of accepting different types of loss. The authors address the unique pain that individuals encounter as a result of the death of a child, a spouse, a parent and a sibling. A comparison of expected and unexpected loss and issues surrounding death from AIDS are also discussed. A chapter on coping and personality increases the reader’s understanding of the importance of finding a healthy balance when dealing with grief-related emotions.
Coping With Loss dedicates a chapter to the impact that social support has on the grief process. The authors compare and contrast emotional support and material support through examples and personal accounts of individuals. The authors discuss which types of loss receive more social support and the reasons that this may occur. This chapter also mentions the difference that gender makes in the acceptance of social support. From this chapter, the readers may come to identify their own personal needs in the grief process.
The authors examine the issue of children and grief by first discussing research on children and adolescent bereavement. The authors then explain a child’s understanding of death and how this perception changes during the developmental stages of childhood. The section on how to help children and adolescents grieve would be useful to adults who work with this population.
Nolen-Hoeksema and Larson also devote a chapter on growth and resiliency following loss. In this chapter a grieving person will read the positive things that other individuals discovered while working through their grief. The authors discuss the importance of reprioritizing one’s life and goals. Individual accounts of becoming more sensitive, thoughtful, identifying an inner strength and realizing the importance of relationships may help a grieving person see light at the end of the tunnel.
In a clinical setting this book would be a valuable bibliotherapy tool when working with grieving adults. The authors explore the impact of various types of loss and the influence of coping strategies on the healing process. Due to the research segments of the text, it would be better for the clinician to assign portions of the book to read. These sections could then be discussed at subsequent therapy sessions. For example, the chapter on social support could be used to explore the impact that the client’s social network has had on their grief process. While the chapter on coping and personality, could be assigned to a client struggling to accept and understand their unique coping style. This book is not appropriate for adolescents largely because of writing stylistics and the focus of the themes covered.
One potential limitation of Coping With Loss is the chapter on interventions. While this would be a helpful tool to a psychotherapist, this chapter would not be beneficial for a bereaved individual. Another weakness is the extensive amount of research presented in the text. This may appeal to those involved in the research field; however, a bereaved individual may become bored with the diagrams and charts found throughout the text. Due to the cost of the book, the psychotherapist may be cautious about recommending it to certain individuals.
Coping With Loss has many strengths. Among them are the various groups of bereaved that are addressed in this work. These groups include those who have lost a spouse, child, parent, and sibling. The authors also address the loss of a loved one through cancer and cardiovascular disease as well as the stigma attached to losing a loved one through AIDS. The length of the book is another asset. The book is scarcely 200 pages. It is easily readable and attractively presented. All of these factors may be appealing to a bereaved person.
Overall Coping With Loss would be an excellent bibliotherapy tool to use with bereaved adults. The authors address a vast number of issues that impact the grief process in a compassionate and sensitive manner. The personal accounts of bereaved people who attempt to deal with their grief are powerful and insightful and the discussion portions of the chapters are informative. This book is strongly recommended for those who are grieving the loss of a spouse, parent, child or adult sibling and may be very effectively integrated into one’s ongoing psychotherapy as a helpful adjunct to this treatment.