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Tuesdays With Morrie
By Mitch Album. New York: Doubleday, 1997, 192 pages, $17.56 (hardback).
Have you had a person in your life who has taught you the things you learn outside of textbooks and classes, who has given you advice about growing up, and has instilled in you the idea of enjoying life before it is too late? Even if you have not, after reading, Tuesdays With Morrie, Morrie Schwartz will be this person. Mitch Albom measured the life of one person in a true story about a man who is suffering from Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s disease) and his quest of teaching the world life’s greatest lesson. This heartfelt story of Mitch’s relationship with his mentor and “coach,” Morrie, is told from the first time they met in college, until just days before Morrie’s death. Sixteen years after graduating from college and loosing touch with Morrie, Mitch rekindles his relationship with his mentor and engages in their final assignment together, his last thesis: the meaning of life. They meet every Tuesday for fourteen weeks, until Morrie has taught Mitch everything he needs to know about life, finding himself, and truly living.
The chapters are each set up as one Tuesday with Morrie leading up to the Tuesday before his death. The chapters in between are Mitch’s thoughts, feelings, and memories. Each week was a different lesson. They began the first Tuesday talking about the world and they ended on the fourteenth Tuesday by saying good-bye. During the Tuesdays in between the first and the last, they talked about feeling sorry for oneself, regrets, death, family, emotions, the fear of aging, money, how love goes on, marriage, culture, forgiveness, and the perfect day. Morrie teaches Mitch that “the most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in” (p.52). We are so wrapped up in our fast-paced world, with materialistic objects, and with the things that really do not matter in the long run, that we often forget to stand back and really enjoy life. Most people believe that they are invincible and that they have plenty of time to do everything that they want to do before they die. Morrie says that everyone knows they are going to die, however no one really believes it. He believes that “once you learn how to die, you learn how to live” (p. 82). And when you truly learn how to live, you will find that it is not money or power that people look for when they are dying, but instead, it is love. Morrie also taught Mitch to, “forgive yourself before you die; then forgive others” (p. 164). We should forgive ourselves for all the things we didn’t do and all the things we should have done, so that we have no regrets.
Existential psychotherapy deals primarily with understanding death and finding a meaning in life. Tuesdays With Morrie would be an essential bibliotherapy tool to incorporate into existential psychotherapy for clients who need help in finding this meaning, clients who need a little motivation to accept they have a problem and work toward change, or clients who are afraid of dying or do not fully understand death. Although this book seems to be a perfect fit for Existential psychotherapy it may also be used in conjuncture with other approaches in psychotherapy. The book could be broken into chapters and used as homework during different periods of psychotherapy where a particular idea in the book is strongly represented, or it could be given as homework to be read between two sessions because it is a quick read. After the book is read by the client, the therapist should discuss the book or the parts of the book that apply to the client’s problem. As the psychotherapy continues, the therapist may then refer back to the book if something applies to what they are discussing in psychotherapy. It could be used in the beginning of therapy to create a genuine relationship between therapist and client, it could be employed in the middle of therapy to keep motivation high, or it could be applied at the end of therapy to leave the client with a strong “take-home” message.
However this book may not be meant for extreme cases where the client is severely depressed or suicidal because the client may view this book as looking at the world through “rose colored glasses,” or the client may not understand why he or she can not take a more positive outlook on life. Some patients may find it difficult to listen to a psychotherapist who has not gone through something that they have gone through, however after reading this book, it may open one’s mind to different ideas and different approaches to changing whatever is wrong in one’s life. If would be a good tool in instilling hope in the client and helping the client to develop insight into his/her own problem. The book does focus on one disease, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis; however, it encompasses almost every situation and the underlying idea of changing one’s life for the better.
The strengths of this book are the heart-warming and inspiring story that unfolds in order to provide motivation and insight in the client’s life, while offering hope and a more positive outlook. Tuesdays with Morrie really makes one think of the important things in life. Too often, we get caught up in the fast pace cycle of the world and we forget to take time and really think about what is important. This book offers the reader the chance to slow down, while still facing the realities of life. Furthermore, the author really captures the reader’s attention, by allowing the reader to get to know Morrie as he has and learn the lessons along with him. Morrie teaches many lessons throughout the book and leaves the reader with the final lesson that “there is no such thing as ‘too late’ in life” (p.190). One can change up until the day one dies. Many are scared of death and some are scared of living, however throughout the book Mitch gets the reader to feel what Morrie is going through. It is incredible to think that one man’s life could have touched so many other people’s lives. Morrie instills in the reader inspiration, motivation, and happiness, which makes you want to listen to him and change for the better.
There are only a couple of limitations of this book that may only apply to a handful of readers. Some readers may feel that the book is overly heart-warming and that it may be impossible to really accomplish such a positive outlook on life, especially if the person is depressed or suicidal. If the therapist chooses to use this book as a bibliotherapy tool, the client may feel expectations from the therapist to take on the same mind-set as Morrie, when it may by difficult for the client to do so. In this case the therapist would need to make sure this book is appropriate to the situation and offer no expectations toward the client.
As you read Tuesdays With Morrie, you will realize that the book is not about a man who overcomes a disease, but it is in fact about a man who teaches others to triumph over their own complications and start looking at the world in a different light. Mitch Album really makes you feel as though you know Morrie, and that you could connect with him the way one would connect with a grandfather, a wise man, or a mentor. Throughout life we are constantly reminded to live life to its fullest, and to not forget about the little things, but we often push this idea aside because there are other, “more important” things to worry about. However one tends to really listen when it is coming from someone who is suffering immensely from an incurable disease and is still able to find goodness in his life, where most people would have given up. Morrie knew he was dying and there was no chance of survival and he looked at the world as though he was lucky to be alive, even if it was only for one more day, or even one more hour. Morrie said, “so many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning” (p. 43). Many people tend to worry about things such as: getting a good grade on a test, receiving a job upon graduation, or making enough money to buy everything that one would need. Though, often these are the people who forget about the little things that make someone happy, such as: how it feels to be hugged by someone you love, or when a child smiles at you and slips their tiny hand in yours, or seeing a beautiful sunrise. The little things are the things often taken for granted.
“Do I wither up and disappear, or do I make the best of my time left?” (p. 43). Morrie chose the later. Which will you choose?