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Get Out of Your Own Way: Escape from Mind Traps
By Tom Rusk. Hay House, Inc. 1996, 293 pages , $12.95
Get Out of Your Own Way: Escape from Mind Traps, explores feelings, attitudes, and behaviors, drawing examples from the author’s personal life and clinical practice; and suggests ways and means to change those attitudes and behaviors that negate the individual’s well-being. According to the author, self-doubt embodies feelings of personal defectiveness; such feelings “make a sense of well-being impossible” (p.21). Self-doubt originates in painful childhood experiences which distort sense of self-worth in the child. In adulthood, this sense of inadequacy creates problems for the individual in relationship with the self, others, work situations, and other human engagements.
Mind Traps is for adult individuals who desire to work on personal change independent of a psychotherapist, or with some guidance from a psychotherapist. It is also useful for those in psychotherapy for relevant follow-up readings and exercise outside treatment sessions. Young parents would benefit from reading this book as it highlights the negative impact of self-doubt, how it develops in children, and ways to prevent it. This book may not be useful to children as the concepts and issues are primarily geared toward adults. Individuals experiencing major clinical problems may not benefit from this book. The focus is on relatively high functioning individuals who are experiencing some distress, and desire to improve their lives.
In part 1, the author gives a portrait of the origin of his self-doubt, how that played out in his life as a medical student, and later in his relationship with his wife and children. Self-doubt gives the individual the image of being intrinsically flawed. Its development can be minimized in children when significant others can comfort them, and not neglect them. Children also must not be overprotected, but respected in their capacity to learn from experience. ‘Mind traps’ (self-defeating attitudes) are generated from self-doubt, and can keep the individual going in circles. Self-awareness, and actions that generate “self-respect and compassion for self and others”, can help the individual break the cycle of self-doubt and mind traps interactions.
Part 2, is the shortest section of the book and appears to have played a crucial role. The author underscores the importance of ‘spirit’ and ‘feelings’. “Spirit”, in the context it is used in the book, is the “true self”, as distinguished from the “false self” or “habitual self”. Hence, it is defined as “that which makes the person unique”(p.52), and the source of well-being. Feelings arise from the person’s spirit (the true self) as messages to tell the person what is going on within the self. Attempts to shut out these signals from the true self, are seen as detrimental to the individual’s well-being. Rusk conceptualizes aspects of this spirit as the hurting part of the self that the individual needs to recognize and nurture with respect and compassion. It is an important step towards self-acceptance and change. This sounds like the unconditional positive regard in client-centered therapy, and can be integrated in the technique.
In the next 6 parts, comprising 18 chapters, Rusk explores different kinds of mind traps under major headings: “Feelings Traps”, “The Fear of Change Traps”, “The Fear of Failure and Responsibility Traps”, The Fear of Rejection Traps”, “The Prove Your Worth Traps”. Each of these was explored under various sub-headings. Rusk does three things in each topic. He gives a clinical case example of particular mind traps, explores with more explanations and interpretations, then suggests directions for change. For example, in the “Feelings Traps”, John (a cardiologist, p.72) is presented as a case of one getting stuck in looking at feelings as ‘foolish’ interference with logical reasoning; or, that ‘bad feelings are wrong’ and indicative of defectiveness in the self (Alex, p.62). Rusk suggests the need for people to pay attention to their emotional pains as Alex eventually did; and find ways to accept comforting. This whole section on feelings could be a helpful follow-up reading and exercise for clients who need to become more in touch with their feelings. “Fear of Change” can also trap individuals in what Rusk refers to as “Biased Against Myself Traps”: “Compare and Despair...”. Individuals ensnared here compare themselves negatively to some others they feel are better than they are, and come out with the sense of the self as a loser. The tendency is to exhaust oneself in endless striving for self-validation, as in the case of Lawrence and Vivian (Pp.108-109). This scenario may help clients who tend to overcompensate for their feelings of inferiority to come to a deeper understanding of their problem and work towards changing attitudes. Obstruction to change can come from the belief that people can’t change (People Don’t Change Traps, p.117). In this instance, attempts at experimenting with new behaviors appear to the individual or to another person as pretentious, then he or she falls back to the old pattern. Rusk suggests that the individual perseveres in his or her effort, and to know that with constant practice, new behaviors become second nature. A client trying out new behaviors can be given similar encouragement by the psychotherapist.
In the final part, the author outlines a program of implementation for self- change. The section on changing attitudes challenges individuals to actively and deliberately act as if they are the person they would prefer to be. Step-by-step self-change exercises ranging from mirror exercise through Mind Trap Profile Chart, to Change Experiment List, provide the individual with tasks to be accomplished in order to achieve change.
The overall strength of the book is in its ability to speak to practical issues of human feelings, emotions, and behaviors. The various examples given to reinforce an understanding of different kinds of self-defeating attitudes are helpful for a clearer articulation of such attitudes for oneself. The book does not only identify problems but also explores them further, and proffers ways of dealing with them. The Childhood Questionnaire earlier in the book (p.28) sets the individual to task, a task that culminates in the program exercises of the last part of the book. In addition, this book gives a realistic expectation of psychotherapy outcomes. Change requires motivation and hard work on the part of the individual. Style of writing and presentation are additional strengths. Each main topic is preceded by relevant quotes that aptly introduce and reinforce major points. It is written in a clear, matter-of-fact language, embellished with variety of practical examples and humor; easy, fast, and enjoyable to read. Inclusion of glossary provides a useful quick reference for major concepts used.