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The Inside Story on Teen Girls
By Karen Zager & Alice Rubenstein. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2002, 424 pages, $12.95.
Adolescence can be a confusing and at times tumultuous journey for girls as well as for their parents. This period in life brings numerous significant physical and psychological changes accompanied by insecurity and uncertainty related to these changes. Parents often struggle to allow their teenager to develop as an independent person, while also attempting to protect her. Teenage girls are often trying to discover and define themselves as individuals, while maintaining a secure base with their parents. Adolescence may be thought of as a second practicing and rapprochement phase – the separation and individuation of the child from the parents, which involves achieving individual functioning with the presence and emotional availability of the parents (St. Clair, 2000). Often during this delicate developmental period, communication and understanding break down in the relationships between teenage girls and their parents. Often, psychotherapy is sought out to assist in improving and/or repairing this breakdown. Rubenstein and Zager’s book makes an impressive attempt to foster this improvement and repair in their book The Inside Story on Teen Girls.
The development of this book is quite impressive. The authors, both of whom have impressive backgrounds in treating adolescent girls and their families, obviously put their hearts into this project. This is a unique book with a unique approach. The authors surveyed almost 1,100 teenagers, parents, teachers, and professionals, asking them “If you had the chance to have a private and confidential conversation with an expert with a great deal of knowledge and understanding about the concerns of adolescent girls today, what would you ask them? Please write down six questions about anything that is on your mind.” Based on this survey, the authors collected over 6,000 questions, which were then narrowed down to the most frequently asked, and the most important questions asked. The authors then went a step further, and brought together a panel of nearly 50 psychologists that have expertise in working with adolescents and their families to collectively answer the questions in this book.
As mentioned above, this book is unique not only in the content, but also in the presentation. Half of the book is labeled Experts Answer Parents’ Questions, and the other half (reversed) is labeled Experts Answer Teens’ Questions. Rather than create two separate books, the authors combined them, fostering the idea of sharing and communication between the teenage girl and her parents.
Topics addressed on the teen side of the book include issues of identity, physical changes inherent to adolescence, friendships, fitting in, romantic relationships, love and sex, school and time management, family relations and communication with parents, eating disorders, anxiety, and depression, drugs and alcohol, and uncertainty about the future. The parents’ questions address issues related to understanding and communication difficulties, friendships and peer groups, vulnerabilities of teenage girls, understanding how to build strength and resiliency in their daughters, and helping her prepare for the future.
This book is meant to be used by teenage girls and their parents, both mothers and fathers. It can be useful to just about anyone who cares for or works with teenage girls. It is written in such a way that teenage girls of almost any age would likely find questions that apply to them, and answers that make sense. The answers are presented in a clear and straightforward way without using technical psychological terminology. This is the case for both sides of this book; however, the authors did use appropriate language and writing style for each of the target audiences. This book was not written to address the issues of teenage boys, so it would not be an appropriate book to assist in their adolescent difficulties.
The Inside Story has the potential to be very useful as an adjunct to psychotherapy. As with most books that can be used as self-help, it’s use alone may be of limited value. However, in conjunction with the guidance of a psychotherapist, this book becomes a wonderful adjunct. In their writing of the book, the authors encourage both the teens and their parents to read the other side of the book. This encourages communication between parents and their teenage girls and vice versa. This book may be used in psychotherapy when working either with an individual teenager or parent, or in the realm of family treatment involving a teenage girl. With the guidance of the clinician, the book may be used to increase communication and understanding within the family. The psychotherapist may use the book as homework and as a basis for discussion within the therapy sessions.
The strengths of this book are its unique presentation and approach to addressing some of the most personal and important questions teenage girls and their parents may have about this time in life. By surveying the individuals who have the questions, the authors were sure to produce what they hoped to – answers to real questions and concerns for teenage girls and their parents. Further, by constructing a panel of expert professionals in the field, the authors succeeded in providing unbiased, well-rounded answers to some of the most difficult questions asked.
More specific strengths within the book are the authors’ gentle and sensitive acknowledgements of the difficulties and struggles of both the teenage girls and their parents. Their answers are supportive to both parties without ever taking sides on an issue. Their introduction to the answers provided in this book is excellent in that it conveys and acknowledges the individuality of each teenage girl and her family and asks those reading the book to consider those differences when reading the questions and answers in this book. It definitely conveys to the teenager and her parents that they are not the only ones that have these questions, doubts, or difficulties.
There are very few limitations I can come up with on this book. The authors do an excellent job of providing answers without telling the teens or their parents what to do. However, it seems as though some more guided tasks or activities that the teen and her parents can use may be sought by those reading the book. A workbook would be a perfect accompaniment to this wonderful book and would provide even more utility to its use as a bibliotherapy tool. One other limitation may be with severely dysfunctional families. This book seems to be more suited toward typical adolescent difficulties and may not be suitable for more serious adolescent and family problems.
For those that work with adolescent girls and their families, this book would be a welcome addition to tools the clinician has within the therapeutic realm. This book may be used as a springboard for therapeutic gains related to understanding, compassion, and communication for the teenager and the people in her life. It is easy to read, covers the most difficult and important questions that these clients and their families may have, and provides solid, professional, and useful answers to those questions. At a time in life that feels so chaotic and unsure, the clarity and sensitivity of this book has the potential to help teenage girls and their parents feel that they are not alone, what they experience is not abnormal, and that someone understands. Again, the authors obviously put their hearts and souls into this book, and it shows.
Rubenstein, A. & Zager, K. (2002). The inside story on teen girls. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
St. Clair, M. (2000). Object relations and self psychology: An introduction. United States: Wadsworth.