TERRORISM and PTSD
Resources for Clinicians
Perhaps You're Not Ready Yet
Writing may appear to be an easy job, but it's not. Not for me anyway. There are many times when I sit down to write my column but I don't have a clue what I am going to write about. Though I have some ideas in my head, they're typically all over the place. I constantly struggle with how to take these tangled, knotty, complex thoughts that meander about in my brain and construct meaning out of them. Sufficient meaning so that they will be both interesting and useful to others. Sufficient meaning so that I have a point to make rather than aimlessly rambling on with a stream of consciousness that goes nowhere. Week after week, I give it my best shot. And usually what materializes (with the help of my husband who edits my column) is pretty good.
Today, once again, I struggle with the question "what shall I write about"? I've told myself that this is the week I will follow our leaders' advice and "get back to normal". I will once again write about how to deal with anger, how to improve communication or how to break gridlock between family members. But as I strain to focus my thinking on these topics, I recognize that I am just not ready.
I think it's too early for many of us to go back to business as usual. We are still experiencing aftershocks of the terrorist attacks. There is so much for us to absorb that's new and frightening. Though most of us are not falling apart, we're also not ready to "get back to normal." And it is not something that I believe we should force ourselves to do so quickly or easily. Our new reality demands that we deal with people who come from a culture which has very different assumptions about freedom, life and death.
Since its birth 225 years ago, America has stood for freedom---freedom of religion, freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom of the press (just to name a few). These terrorists, on the other hand, spring from a culture in which freedom is an intolerable strain. Their leader speaks. They believe. Their leader commands. They act. Diversity is not tolerated, doubt is not allowed. Death is glorified, life is degraded.
Americans believe deeply not only in liberty but also in diversity, acceptance, equality, respect, modernity and progress. Indeed, we have some schools in New York City in which the students are from 70 different countries, with almost as many languages spoken. We work hard to acknowledge and respect each other's differences. We appreciate diversity and aim for harmony as we remind ourselves that we're a nation of immigrants. Our credo, our respect for differences, our quest for peace is a world away from terrorism that fuels hostility, distrust and hatred not only for America but even for other ethnic groups that live within Afghanistan.
It is true that we sometimes express our freedoms in rather shallow ways. Wasnâ•&Mac250;t it tacky for our leaders to urge us to go shopping in this time of national crisis?) At times, we are gauche and ill-mannered. But most of the time we are a magnificent people. Since 9/11, rather than shop the malls or turn on each other, we turned to the best and bravest parts of our selves. We hugged our families, helped our neighbors, calmed each other's fears, gave money and volunteered services to rebuild shattered lives and honor our heroes.
Yes, one day we will "return to normal". But for many of us, it is not time yet. Some of us have many more tears to shed. Others of us need to be angry as all hell. Still others want to curl up under the covers and come out only when we must. In our land of diversity and acceptance, we need to respect each individual's timetable for dealing with what happened and for what may still happen in the future.
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